“When you find yourself in a new situation or a new experience, everything that requires healing rushes to the surface. So if you don’t take a minute to breathe, you will do what you have always done and find yourself in the same pain. So the lesson is, PAUSE. Take a breath and say “how am I going to handle it this time?”"
- Iyanla Vanzant
I know I made a wrong decision because I am not at peace. Luckily, I know what went wrong so I can fix it. I should have paused before San Francisco. The months and particularly the week before I got here, my life had been running on empty and I was pushing along with everything I had - tired but still pushing on. This included my relationships with my family, friends, work etc…I kept going until I literally got onto the plane all worn out. I didn’t realise how tired I was until a week after being in SF.
I was laying in my bed the other night and realised that before I left South Africa, I had such high hopes for my life in SF. I had planned to make a super vision plan about everything I wanted to do in SF and receive from this 6-month experience. There I was, tired from the work day, drenched with the same problems of worry, tiredness and being uninspired, that I had back home in SA and no hope for the life I imagined I would be having. Then, that voice from greater power whispered ever so clearly in my ear “come now, you know this, you know that you need to pause, you know this will end up in the exact same way that it did at home…pause, take a breathe, be present and decide how you are going to do it this time…you know this“. And yes, I know this. I mean, between all the Oprah, Eckhart Tolle and Neale Donald Walsch, I really do know this.
So, one week into San Francisco, I have decided to refresh from my misstep. San Francisco is and will be everything that I wanted. I want it to be unforgettably enlightening, fun and soul-enriching. So how am I going to do it this time? I’m going to be present…Be. Here. Now and soak up all the magic.
I’m letting myself off the hook for the thing’s I’ve done. That my friends, is freedom after the pause.